Friday, May 21, 2004

India Domeel!!!!!

After the great election tamasha its time for the great ministerial bullfight. Leading the fight from the front is our evergreen hero of politix LALOO PRASAD YADAV. Lalooji wants Home Ministry for himself, lets say he conquers and wins it, then the plight of our country????(I leave it to the readers)

Reforms and amendments brought about by The Honorable Home Minister Shri. Laloo Prasad Yadav.

1) Confer Honorary Doctorship on him and his wife Rabri Devi for their Achievements in ruling a state unopposed for so long (may ask for NOBEL PEACE PRIZE).
2) Bring about another green revolution (fodder scam at the national level)
3) Make Bihar the capital of INDIA!!!!!(Sounds great)
4) Cut import duties on Jersey cows and Buffaloes.
5) Sign an MoU with countries like Switzerland, Denmark etc. for export of cow fodder and dung.
6) Introduce CABIMA (corruption and Bribe Improvement Act).
7) Masterpiece--- Laloo in Science & Tech. Field –Send India’s first manned satellite to moon with a cow in it. (First Cow to land on moon …watta watta)
8) Increase power tariffs and charge supply for farm purposes. In return give free supply of dung as fuel.
9) Laloo’s contribution to IT sector. Rename Mouse to Cows.
10) Last but not the least: become a visiting (Research) faculty in Harvard for renewable energy study.

Well if Lalooji has his way GOD SAVE INDIA (even he can only try..people of India start practicing songs on cows so that u don’t get kicked while milking)

Interview Rising Part I

A St. Thomas Mount Pictures Production

In association with Lighthouse Films

Interview Rising (a real life story)



Chennai, Year 2004A.D

In the not sooo future (Supposedly 3 months frm now) it was prophesized (in Economic Times to be precise) that there would rise a spate of interviews (but no jobs i'm sure!!!).

Shot 1: A paper flapping on a desk...a man standing behind it his hand behind his back
overlooking the window gray clouds passing over the horizon. Everything is still...(ITS TIME I CUT THIS CINEMATIC CRAP!!!!!!!!!)


Well i just wanted to share some of my travails i experienced at an interview....once upon a time after completing my time at college i attended a test for ( GOD KNOWS WAT POSITION) for a leading MNC bk...well unfortunately i got short-listed and was requested to take the HOT SEAT (Even MTV's HOT SEAT may not be this HOT)....i was to be screwed in two-phases ( God wat a well planned screwing...i'm jealous of those guys who get job by just writing a test INFY GUYS DONT GET UPSET !!)..first by the dept manager and then by dept head himself!!!..Well i already had butterflies flying all over inside me. And to top it all i was made to wait 45 minutes for my showdown...the
most miserable thing was there was not even a single girl (good-looking) visible anywhere within 100m of that place (don’t consider the receptionist, she was ------)...

Scene--2 (Interview in progress)..

Manager: Hi I’m so and so blah blah...tell me something about ur educational background (he has my resume open showing that in detail)

Me: (don’t they have something better to ask)..Well i did my schooling here...i did my B.E in IT frm that college and I did my post-graduation in Finance frm such and such college that sums up my edu bckgrnd..

HRA: are u aware of the post for which u r here??

Me: (y else am i here dumbo!!) yes I’m.

Manager: y did u do M.B.A??

Me: (I had nothing else to do after my grads. I didn’t have a job either) I want to be an
entrepreneur that’s y (i wanted to kick myself for this!!! i don’t need MBA to be one. all i need is investment)

Manager: don’t u think u r overqualified for this job???

Me: (some say u r overqualified, while others say u need some experience. wat am i to say here) yes i know!!! (Very simple isn’t it)

Manager: well your resume is very impressive…please rush through it once!!

Me: (It should be impressive. Cos I copied it from a consultancy) I did my summer project in that organization and my final project in RISK MANAGEMENT…

HRA: What did you do in Risk Management??

Me: (I don’t know. I didn’t do my project yet) I analysed different mathematical models like GARCH, EGARCH etc. and found their efficiencies

HRA: Which model did you find more efficient?? Describe Ur project slightly in depth

Me: well I analysed them by taking a case of an organization blah blah…..(thank god I had friends in college who taught me how to spin good yarns. I’m grateful to u guys).

HRA: that’s great!!

Me: (this dumbo tells my project is gr8.what does he know about risk management and mathematical models?? Nothing, zook, zilch) thanks a lot

HRA: well that was great we’ll keep in touch soon. Thanks for coming.

Me: it’s a pleasure (to leave this room).

Me: lets hope I get a positive response.

To conclude in the next part..