Monday, May 31, 2004

My Trysts with Destiny

“Fortune Favours The Brave” – well this adage may be very old but it’s very true too. Well at least in my life it has been proved true not once but 5 times. I recently (day before yesterday) had a narrow escape from the Lord of the Under World. So I thought y not share all of those encounters with Destiny (near Death Scenarios) with all of the netizens. I’ve chronologically arranged my “Close Encounters”. (Some of them may be in Filmy style please bear .. It’s a true story)

Oct 3,2001:

This is one of the most unforgettable day in my life. Well it was my friend’s b’day and he was taking us to treat (For a movie MI-2). The movie was not worth the risk I took that day. We went to the afternoon show in a theatre in Trichy where I was doing my graduation. We were traveling in a bus and I got down at a stop to make way for other passengers to get down and decided to board the bus after it started (well some heroics) but my plan backfired when I lost grip and had to board the bus on my knees instead of my legs. Well the conductor got irritated by my modus operandi and gave me earful. it was most embarrassing to get shouted at in front of all my friends and other passengers. It also stands top in the list of my most embarrassing moments.

A day in Aug 2001:

This incident happened in front of my college. I decided to free myself from the jail(my hostel) so I became a day scholar and have been one for the past 6 months. since I was a day scholar I had to catch a bus to reach my house. So that day was no different and there was so much rush in the bus stand for the one bus that plies in that route. In my eagerness catch a seat for me and my friend Radhakrishnan (we call him ROD) I tried to board the bus while it was still moving. Now again I lost my grip and found my left foot dangling under the bus inches away from the back wheel. The conductor of this bus happened to be a friend of our college so instead of shouting at me pulled me up. Atleast I achieved my objective one way or the other, I got a seat but was rewarded with injuries in my leg.

One day in September 2001:

This again happened when me and my friends were loitering in the main roads of Thanjavur. We were about to catch a bus for home(well the bus stand was little bit far away,so we decided we’ll board the bus on running) well the decision backfired too as always thanks to me..I lost my balance and was literally on all fours beside a moving bus. Well at that moment I thought I was a gonner for good, well luck and some help from my friends saved the day for me.

January 25,2002:

I wont forget this day in my whole life. Well it was the day of “The Disaster”. It was my friend’s b’day and three of us were planning to come to Chennai for writing an exam. Since my friend was supposed to be waiting at a bus stop and since it was already late sanjeeth wanted to catch an auto while I was hell-bent on going by bus. But majority won and we caught an auto and were cruising at a speed of about 40kmph when all of a sudden a big lorry tyre fell in front of the auto. The auto hit the tyre and at that speed lost its balance and tumbled sideways. I was sitting beside the window (I mean the closed side, the side in which the auto tumbled) and in a flash of a second I was lying prostrate on the ground with the auto on my right arm, and my luggage on my back. The lorry cleaner who had dropped the tyre had ran away and none came forward to lift the auto from my hand except sanjeeth (Thanks da otherwise I wud have had my garlanded photo hanging from a nail in my house). The icing on the cake was the appearance of a matador van that was approaching at us faster than anybody cud imagine.thank god the brakes were perfect cos the van braked just in front of us and took a detour. The most irritating part was that another friend (classmate) of us who was passing that way ridiculed us when we told him what happened a few minutes back. Watta dodo he was (this is wat I thought abt him at tht time)

May 29, 2004:

Well it has been 2 years without any incident and I was breathing a sigh of relief. God thought “ well he has been happy for the past 2 years, lets put some misery into his life. Create an accident”.and Kazaammm!!! It accident. I’m typing this with my one hand cos I’m unable to lift the other. It happened like this me and my frnd Harish were traveling from his house to arumbakkam, the drive went smoothly till I reached that curve on kotturpuram rd. when all of a sudden a man was in front of my vehicle and a car beside me at 50kmph I cudnt just apply the brakes so I swerved my bike to avoid hitting the man and my bike’s crash bar just crashed into the car’s backside and there I was lying on the ground with the bike on me without knowing wat happened in between. Well harish got scratches all over his body from his arm to thighs to toe. And I had injuries throughout the upper right side, muscle injury in my right shoulder being the greatest and lotsa scratches on my face surrounding my right eye and a big mound in my head god knows wat happened there. Well since it was half-peak hour we were saved from being taken to the burial ground directly from the spot. Well afterward we had a medical checkup and raked our brains to spin a big yarn to my parents abt the accident.
Thank God nothing happened to the bike.

So these have been my “Close Encounters Of 3rd Kind” and I consider myself 5 time lucky ( I’m thinking of putting a plaque in front of my house displaying “5STAR” ).
Hope to have more closer encounters in the future…..

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Hollywood, Bollywood, Kollywood and All the different woods in the forest

It was only day before yesterday that I watched the most-talked about tamil film “Ayitha Ezhuthu” of course. This is not only about Ayitha Ezhuthu (I’ll call it AE frm hereon) or any other Maniratnam movies; this is about Indian cinema at large. Most say that AE was inspired from “Amorros Perros” and for that matter any Indian film is said to be an inspiration from a foreign work. Any work for that matter must have been inspired from something or someone. This is the only industry where widespread plagiarism is said to be prevalent. And it is worrisome on the part of the western world to brand works from third world as plagiarized if they depict things other than war, crimes and sickening social conditions. I’m not a Hollywood basher and all but its pathetic to see them brand great movies as inspired from something western. Do they think only they have brilliance and them and only them can create masterpieces? There have been geniuses born in the eastern world too. From Kurosawa to John Woo, from Satyajit Ray to Shyam Benegal there have been lots of geniuses born and masterpieces created. It is the genius ness of the creator that transcends into the minds of the common man and not the inspiration. Moreover Hollywood also has its own share of trash that they churn out to audiences. So it’s not fair to ditch movies on the basis of from where they were inspired. Audiences should bath in the genius ness of the creator rather than think from where they were inspired.

Friday, May 21, 2004

India Domeel!!!!!

After the great election tamasha its time for the great ministerial bullfight. Leading the fight from the front is our evergreen hero of politix LALOO PRASAD YADAV. Lalooji wants Home Ministry for himself, lets say he conquers and wins it, then the plight of our country????(I leave it to the readers)

Reforms and amendments brought about by The Honorable Home Minister Shri. Laloo Prasad Yadav.

1) Confer Honorary Doctorship on him and his wife Rabri Devi for their Achievements in ruling a state unopposed for so long (may ask for NOBEL PEACE PRIZE).
2) Bring about another green revolution (fodder scam at the national level)
3) Make Bihar the capital of INDIA!!!!!(Sounds great)
4) Cut import duties on Jersey cows and Buffaloes.
5) Sign an MoU with countries like Switzerland, Denmark etc. for export of cow fodder and dung.
6) Introduce CABIMA (corruption and Bribe Improvement Act).
7) Masterpiece--- Laloo in Science & Tech. Field –Send India’s first manned satellite to moon with a cow in it. (First Cow to land on moon …watta watta)
8) Increase power tariffs and charge supply for farm purposes. In return give free supply of dung as fuel.
9) Laloo’s contribution to IT sector. Rename Mouse to Cows.
10) Last but not the least: become a visiting (Research) faculty in Harvard for renewable energy study.

Well if Lalooji has his way GOD SAVE INDIA (even he can only try..people of India start practicing songs on cows so that u don’t get kicked while milking)

Interview Rising Part I

A St. Thomas Mount Pictures Production

In association with Lighthouse Films

Interview Rising (a real life story)



Chennai, Year 2004A.D

In the not sooo future (Supposedly 3 months frm now) it was prophesized (in Economic Times to be precise) that there would rise a spate of interviews (but no jobs i'm sure!!!).

Shot 1: A paper flapping on a desk...a man standing behind it his hand behind his back
overlooking the window gray clouds passing over the horizon. Everything is still...(ITS TIME I CUT THIS CINEMATIC CRAP!!!!!!!!!)


Well i just wanted to share some of my travails i experienced at an interview....once upon a time after completing my time at college i attended a test for ( GOD KNOWS WAT POSITION) for a leading MNC bk...well unfortunately i got short-listed and was requested to take the HOT SEAT (Even MTV's HOT SEAT may not be this HOT)....i was to be screwed in two-phases ( God wat a well planned screwing...i'm jealous of those guys who get job by just writing a test INFY GUYS DONT GET UPSET !!)..first by the dept manager and then by dept head himself!!!..Well i already had butterflies flying all over inside me. And to top it all i was made to wait 45 minutes for my showdown...the
most miserable thing was there was not even a single girl (good-looking) visible anywhere within 100m of that place (don’t consider the receptionist, she was ------)...

Scene--2 (Interview in progress)..

Manager: Hi I’m so and so blah blah...tell me something about ur educational background (he has my resume open showing that in detail)

Me: (don’t they have something better to ask)..Well i did my schooling here...i did my B.E in IT frm that college and I did my post-graduation in Finance frm such and such college that sums up my edu bckgrnd..

HRA: are u aware of the post for which u r here??

Me: (y else am i here dumbo!!) yes I’m.

Manager: y did u do M.B.A??

Me: (I had nothing else to do after my grads. I didn’t have a job either) I want to be an
entrepreneur that’s y (i wanted to kick myself for this!!! i don’t need MBA to be one. all i need is investment)

Manager: don’t u think u r overqualified for this job???

Me: (some say u r overqualified, while others say u need some experience. wat am i to say here) yes i know!!! (Very simple isn’t it)

Manager: well your resume is very impressive…please rush through it once!!

Me: (It should be impressive. Cos I copied it from a consultancy) I did my summer project in that organization and my final project in RISK MANAGEMENT…

HRA: What did you do in Risk Management??

Me: (I don’t know. I didn’t do my project yet) I analysed different mathematical models like GARCH, EGARCH etc. and found their efficiencies

HRA: Which model did you find more efficient?? Describe Ur project slightly in depth

Me: well I analysed them by taking a case of an organization blah blah…..(thank god I had friends in college who taught me how to spin good yarns. I’m grateful to u guys).

HRA: that’s great!!

Me: (this dumbo tells my project is gr8.what does he know about risk management and mathematical models?? Nothing, zook, zilch) thanks a lot

HRA: well that was great we’ll keep in touch soon. Thanks for coming.

Me: it’s a pleasure (to leave this room).

Me: lets hope I get a positive response.

To conclude in the next part..

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Why shud i work???????

Every one (especially MALES!!!!) in their life time wud have definitely given a thought abt this y i need to go to work??? well this is not somethin of a lament frm an overworked underpaid professional whos is sloggin at home and work...but a guy whos is enjoyin his life @ home..well this ocurred to me while i was whilin away my time watchin all the crap tht T.V channels r churnin out now-a-days...there is an adage in any language u can take regardin (linking)men and work, there is one in my lang too "udyogam purusha lakshanam"-- work is blah blah for men..i wondered who coined this adage in the first place,take the case of LIONS males dont work..they eat n sleep only the lioness go for the hunt..when the king of the jungle himself is so lethargic in attitude then y shud king of whatever he sees (talkin abt man only)...WORK?????